Choosing You Is the Most Unselfish Thing You Can Do

What You'll Learn

• Why choosing you and putting your sexual needs first is the most unselfish thing you can do for your sex life

• How choosing you helps with overall sexual happiness, confidence, and self-esteem

• Five practical ideas to start prioritizing yourself and your sexual needs today

The Reality Check: You Are in Charge

Let’s start with a truth that’s easy to overlook: You are in charge of your sexual satisfaction. Even though you share sexual experiences with a partner, this journey is ultimately about you. Too many women hope someone will swoop in and save them. Here’s the truth: it’s not your partner’s job to fulfill you sexually. It’s up to you to understand what you want—and then ask for it.

And if the very thought of asking for what you want sends a chill of terror down your spine? That’s completely normal.

Sexual Confidence Comes from Choosing You

When you choose you, everyone wins. Here’s how:

• You increase your overall sexual happiness, confidence, and self-esteem

• You begin to believe you deserve pleasure

• You allow yourself to experience joy

• You understand and communicate your sexual wants and needs

• You listen to and respect your partner’s desires, even when they differ from yours

• You set and accept boundaries without resentment or feeling rejected

Let’s Talk About “Selfish”

Many women feel it’s selfish to choose themselves. Let’s unpack that word.

From childhood, “Don’t be selfish” is drilled into us. The dictionary defines selfish as being overly concerned with oneself without considering others:

• Greedy

• Self-interested

• Self-centered

• Self-absorbed

• Egotistical

In prehistoric times, selfish behavior could endanger the tribe—sometimes fatally. Even today, there’s a social stigma around the word. Here’s the key: Being selfish doesn’t mean being rude or aggressive. It means respecting yourself first.

Back to Choosing You

Choosing yourself can be scary. Here’s a simple exercise:

1. Stand in front of a mirror and say, “I choose me.”

2. Notice your body’s and mind’s reactions.

3. Write them down in a journal.

Choosing you equals valuing your worth. Only when you feel worthy can you step up as an engaged, equal partner in your sexual experience. Your partner benefits from a more engaged, present, and confident lover. And the result? A deeper, healthier, more passionate partnership.

Start Small, Go Slow

Where do you begin? Start with these practical steps:

1. Cover the Basics

Make sure you’re caring for your physical and emotional well-being: sleep, nutrition, exercise, friendships, hobbies, and feeling attractive.

2. Do What YOU Want

Spend 15 minutes every day doing exactly what you want—reading, dancing, sitting in the sun. The only rule: it’s your choice.

3. Practice Affirmations

Positive mental repetitions can reprogram your thinking patterns. Over time, affirmations help you act differently, boost self-esteem, and improve mental health.

4. Intentionally Choose You

Choose to do something for yourself every day. Setting intentional goals reinforces this mindset, making it easier to ask for what you want in your sexual life without guilt.

Wrap Up

To kickstart your sexual mindset journey, pick one action and start today:

• Start small, go slow, and manage self-sabotaging thoughts

• Dedicate 15 minutes every day to doing exactly what you want

• Use affirmations to reprogram your thinking patterns and boost confidence

Making the sexual experience about you will take some time, effort, and change on your part, but not as much as you might think. The Sex'cess Blog and Sensational Sex Podcast are here to help you with this every step of the way.

When You're Ready To Step Into Your Sex'cess

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4. Check out the award winning fiction, The Sex Course that went to #1 in its Amazon category three days after launch. Go here.

5. Watch the FREE See if the Sex Boot Camp Master Class to see if this is a good fit for you. Go here.