Positive Sexual Mindset

What You’ll Learn

• Why do approximately half of women experience some kind of sexual difficulty at one point in their lives? With lack of interest in sex being by far the most common.

• How you can start to notice and reframe any negative thoughts you have about sex.

• Why a positive sexual mindset is the key to cultivating your desire, increasing your sexual pleasure, and finding joy in your intimacy.

• Six powerful techniques you can use today to turn your sexual mindset around.

What Is a Positive Sexual Mindset?

A positive sexual mindset is the magic bullet to your happy and fulfilling sex life and is a cornerstone to your sexual enjoyment.

Denise Duffield-Thomas said, “Positive mindset is everything. The rest you can Google.”

Your sexual mindset is your relationship with sex and how that affects what you experience during sex. It’s the attitudes and beliefs that predetermine how you respond to and make sense of sex.

That's not to say you believe sex will always be fabulous—because it won't be.

Your busy and complicated life will chug along imperfectly and be filled with things that will push your sexuality to the sidelines—like kids, a new job, a divorce, perimenopause, or a major illness. In those challenging situations, it’s so easy to take on negative beliefs and attitudes about the sex we’re having. For you to fall into having a negative sexual mindset.

Do You Have a Negative Sexual Mindset?

Studies show that approximately half of women experience some kind of sexual difficulty at one point in their lives; with a lack of interest in sex being by far the most common and the most distressing. What doesn’t get talked about enough is when our sexuality suffers, so do all other areas of life.

A positive mindset shifts your perspective and enables you to see what's going right with your sex life instead of seeking out and focusing on what's going wrong. It's paying attention with intention and purpose.

Dr. Lori Brotto, Director of UBC Sexual Health Laboratory, wrote, “Based on my own observations of mindfulness, I would argue that satisfying sex is quite simply not possible without mindfulness.”

Mindset is the Magic Sex Bullet

Here’s a list of why having a positive sexual mindset is beneficial for you

• Better coping skills

• Reduced stress

• Improved relationship

• Better resilience

• Better self-esteem

• Lower rates of depression

• Enhanced mental health

• Increased productivity

• Increased longevity

• That’s amazing, right?

Here’s the Big BUT …

Currently, a lot is going on in the background, preventing your mindset from enjoying sex. Your negative sexual mindset doesn't want you to believe you could ever confidently ask for the sex you want—or don't want—and greedily take your pleasure.

It’s time to stop letting your negative sexual mindset get in the way of you having the sex life you deserve.

Six Practical Steps To a Better Mindset

What can you do right now to start creating a positive sexual mindset? Pick one of the following six ideas and push yourself to follow through today. A shift in mindset is subtle and easy to overlook. When you do follow through, pay attention to how it feels.

Notice any resistance your mind and body might have–that’s your negative sexual mindset trying to hold you down.

(1) Notice and reframe any negative thoughts you may have about sex

Most of us are not aware of our thought patterns going into sex. When you pay attention to your sex self-talk, notice how many are negative thoughts. Then, use a pattern interrupter and say to yourself, “I want to enjoy my sexual experience!” to stop the negative thoughts.

(2) Practice Gratitude

Notice and acknowledge the good things in your life. Doing so will put you in a more positive frame of mind. Regular practice of saying or writing three things you’re grateful for daily will help train you to look for things that make you happy. The more specific you are, the better!

(3) Be Kind to Yourself

Self-compassion will help you navigate this. Do things that make you happy as often as possible, whether taking a walk before work, enjoying a bubble bath, or reading a book. The better you feel, the easier it is to create positive thoughts.

(4) Do Something Kind For Your Partner

Start creating a healthy bond with your most important person.

(5) Laugh!

You know when you’ve overcome an obstacle when you're able to find the funny in that situation. It means the negative stuff no longer has control over me. When you can look back and laugh, it’s a victory, something to celebrate because you won that battle.

(6) Your Follow Through = Your Sex’cess

Notice if you’re procrastinating. Ask yourself why and be honest with yourself, vulnerable, and willing to stretch outside your comfort zone. Imagine a world where women have a positive mindset and boldly ask for the sex SHE wants. Tell yourself that your sex'cess is in direct proportion to your follow-through.

Your positive sexual mindset is the key to cultivating your desire, increasing sexual pleasure, and finding your joy in intimacy.

Wrap Up

To start your sexual mindset journey, pick one of the following to work on.

• Are past sexual difficulties looping in your thoughts? Catch at least one and ask yourself how this is affecting your sexual experience.

• Start to notice any negative thoughts before, during or after sex. What are those thoughts doing to your will, want and desire for sex?

• What is the gap between your present sexual mindset and believing a positive sexual mindset could cultivate your desire, and increase your sexual pleasure.

Making the sexual experience about you will take some time, effort, and change on your part, but not as much as you might think. The Sex'cess Blog and Sensational Sex Podcast are here to help you with this every step of the way.

When You Don’t Think You Can … Remember

We are all rooting for your sex’cess. Because when you sex’ceed, you are raising women’s sexuality to a new, higher standard. That makes you a bad-ass human being.

When You're Ready To Step Into Your Sex'cess

1. Get your FREE copy of Sex Boot Camp Masterclass. Go here.

2. Watch the FREE See if the Sex Boot Camp Master Class to see if this is a good fit for you. Go here.

3. Listen and subscribe to the weekly Sensational Sex Podcast. Go here.

4. Join the Sex'cess Community to hang with like minded, groovy women. Go here.

5. Check out the award winning fiction, The Sex Course that went to #1 in its Amazon category three days after launch. Go here.