Tap Into Your Sexual Self-Confidence

What You’ll Learn

• Four ideas you can do today to tap into your sexual confidence and embody self acceptance.

• What to do if you have imposter syndrome and don’t believe you could be sexy and desirable.

• Why wisdom and life experience naturally leads to sexual confidence.

What Is Sexual Confidence?

It centers around your vulnerability and authenticity. Your power and confidence comes from liking and accepting yourself.

• You know you're desirable.

• What you bring to a sexual encounter is valuable. 

• You’re relaxed and experience things fully. 

• You aren't self-conscious. 

• You don't obsess about rejection or failure.

As you can see, sexual confidence is a foundational pillar of your sexual happiness. 

Do You Feel Like an Imposter? 

Stop here. Does this seem out of reach for you? 

Do a check in to see if you’ve rejected the notion you could be everything on that confidence list. Do you believe being sexually confident is for someone else but not for you? (This is a great reaction to write down and think about.)

This can be you. Sexual confidence doesn’t have to be enjoyed only by a lucky few. 

Where Do You Start?

It starts with you allowing a small space open that says you do deserve to feel sexually confident.

This is you creating a positive sexual mindset. 

Why is a positive sexual mindset key to your sexual confidence? Chances are, any negative attitudes toward your sexuality (which is a negative mindset) directly affect your confidence. Any negative attitudes can create resentment, anxiety, guilt, shame, etc., about your current sexual situation. These negative feelings impact your mental health and relationship connectedness. 

There are so many things that can have a positive or negative impact on your sexual confidence. For example, after you have a baby, your body changes. When you’re going through menopause, and you’re on a hormone roller coaster ride.

Your Sexual Confidence Awakening

Something happens when women hit the 40-year-old plus mark. Sexual confidence isn’t about sex appeal per se, rather it's about the extremely valuable wisdom and experience.

So many younger women are inclined to let others define their sense of self. Sexual confidence doesn’t come from a partner validating you. If you focus too much on your partner, it's a distraction and can erode your sexual confidence.

Women who know their bodies better—who know what turns them on—report enjoying sex more. They're more confident that their interactions will be successful. They tend to care much less about what other people think as time goes on.

Lucy’s Sexual Confidence Story

Lucy, 42, said, "If I took the confidence I have now and the body I had in my 20s or 30s, I'd be unstoppable. But would I trade what I now understand about myself, my body, and sex to have the body back? No way!" 

When Lucy was younger, her fear of rejection and insecurity caused her to be a people pleaser. She knows better now: It's not selfish in a sexual situation to please yourself. 

Rather, choosing you is the most unselfish thing you can do for your sexual experience because it builds your sexual confidence.

Lucy says, “If I had the confidence at 23 that I have now, I would have had a lot more fun. I would have spent much less time worrying about what a guy thought and enjoyed myself more." 

Do women need to wait until she’s in her 40s? Of course not. It’s about learning how to ask for the sex you want and then lean into the sex you asked for. And if you’re not sure how to do that, listen to the Sensational Sex Podcast.

Four Tips to Step Into Your Sexual Confidence

We have four ideas for you to think about. Listen to our list and then choose one that you will implement. Follow-through equals your success.

(1) Understanding your sexual desires

A huge part of developing sexual confidence is understanding what you enjoy sexually, from your sexual orientation to the type of sex that you find most pleasurable.

(2) You have to name it to claim it

It's not enough for you to say, "I want to be sexually confident." Sexual confidence is knowing what you like and dislike and telling your partner. That means exploring your body to find out what pleases you. 

(3) Communicate your desires to your partner

Sexual confidence means you can communicate your sexual desires and needs to your partner, as well as be open to their needs and preferences.

(4) Setting and enforcing sexual boundaries

Finally, sexual confidence involves understanding your limits when it comes to sex, as well as respecting the boundaries of your sexual partner.

Take Small Steps

These are big concepts, but how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Becoming more sexually confident is a gradual process that often involves many small steps. 

The good news is that by taking small steps, you can improve your sexual confidence over time and grow into the person you’d like to become. 

It's a self-fulfilling cycle: more fun increases your confidence, which creates more fun.

Wrap Up

1. Understand your sexual desires

2. Name it to claim it

3. Communicate those desires to your partner

4. Do not feel guilty or anxious

5. It will take time and patience, and many small steps

When You're Ready To Step Into Your Sex'cess

1. Watch the FREE Sex Boot Camp Master Class to see if this is a good fit for you. Go here.

2. Get your FREE copy of Sex Boot Camp Masterclass. Go here.

3. Listen and subscribe to the weekly Sensational Sex Podcast. Go here.

4. Join the Sex'cess Community to hang with like minded, groovy women. Go here.

5. Check out the award winning fiction, The Sex Course that went to #1 in its Amazon category three days after launch. Go here.