- Dec 15, 2025
5 Sex'perts Share How To Stay Intimate Over the Holidays
- Trina Read
- 0 comments
The holidays are here—and while they bring joy, they also bring stress, overwhelm, and jam-packed schedules that can flatline your libido faster than you can say “family dinner.”
But here’s a little known truth: touch, emotional connection, and yes, sex can be amazing stress relievers during the holidays.
I asked five sex experts (including myself) one question: What’s your best advice for staying intimate over the stressful holiday season?
Their answers will help you turn the holidays into a time where you and your partner lean into each other instead of pulling apart.
Hold and Be Held
Susan Bratton, bestselling author and CEO of Personal Life Media—known as the “Intimacy Expert to Millions”—reminds us that sometimes the simplest acts are the most powerful:
“My favorite thing during the holiday season is to take some time to be held and to hold each other in your arms. I have a technique I call the sexual soulmate embrace. And what I love about it is that too often we rush to intercourse, we rush to sex. And instead taking that languid time to really get into each other’s arms and to relax and not let go, but to hold each other closer, to squeeze and hold and run each other’s hands over each other’s bodies.”
Susan explains that when we slow down and hold each other, it lets our hearts connect, our breath syncopates, and allows us to look into each other’s eyes and finally just really relax.
“Because it’s in relaxation that arousal can climb. So holding and being held as much as possible.”
This simple practice can transform rushed, obligatory intimacy into something deeply nourishing.
Make Sex a Priority (Even When It Feels Impossible)
Kevin Anthony—a Certified Sexologist, Tantra Counselor, and host of The Love Lab Podcast—gets straight to the point:
“My best advice to stay intimate over the stressful holiday season is you have to make sex a priority. The problem is the holidays get really stressful. They get really busy. You got a million things to do. You might be traveling. You got to go get all the things on your list. You got to prepare to have guests, whatever it is. Like there’s a lot happening and the holidays get stressful. And so things like your sex life can fall by the wayside. And the biggest thing is just don’t let that happen.”
Kevin emphasizes that you need to schedule time for connection.
“Even if you’re staying with your in-laws, you can find ways to have a little connection, sexy time. Yeah, it’s probably gonna be shorter. It’s probably going to be quieter. You’re not going to be screaming, rolling multiple orgasms, but just that act of still taking a little bit of time to connect will go a long way towards one, keeping you connected, but also mitigating all of that stress that you’ve been experiencing during the holiday.”
His advice? Set aside some time and connect in whatever way you can. Anything is better than nothing.
Make Repair Attempts Often
As a Sexologist, my best advice for staying close during the holiday season is to make repair attempts often.
A repair attempt is used when one or both partners recognize that a conversation is going south and do or say something to get it back on track.
Let’s say you’ve had a stressful day with holiday shopping, organizing your kids’ school concerts, or the thousand other things that need to get done. You come home and your partner says something that puts you on edge and you snap back at them. Now both of you are mad and you can feel a fight brewing.
Instead of letting this fight simmer, you nip this potential fight in the bud with a repair attempt: a hug, an inside joke, getting your partner a glass of wine—or better yet, all of the above. These things are going to de-escalate this potential fight and turn it into something where you’re nurturing each other.
Here’s the important part:
For this to work, both of you need to let down your egos, consider the other person’s perspective, and both of you need to make concessions.
Happy couples repair early and often, and they use many strategies, both verbal and non-verbal, to repair.
And if you think this is too much work? Think again. Researchers could predict the divorce rate with 90% accuracy when couples fail to make or respond to repair attempts.
Repair attempts are simple, straightforward, and within minutes save you so much time, effort, and heartache.
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Choose Connection Over Perfection
Amy Rowan, The Suburban Sexologist and founder of Suburban Intimacy, knows firsthand how the holidays can overwhelm moms trying to create magic for everyone. Her advice?
“My best advice for staying intimate over the stressful holiday season is to choose connection over perfection. And lean in on pleasure as a stress reliever. This is something that I share all the time, stress increases cortisol inside your body. And guess what a natural reliever to reduce cortisol is? Oxytocin.”
Amy reminds us that orgasms and intimate connection release neurochemicals that naturally combat stress.
“And all of the incredible neurochemicals that are released during orgasm. And let’s be honest, we experience a lot of stress over the holidays, especially as moms, because we are trying to create magic. We are trying to do everything for everybody, presents and shopping and in-laws and meals and all of these different things.”
Her practical advice includes:
Check in with each other daily. How are you doing? What do you need?
Recognize when your partner is overwhelmed. Partners who are attuned can tell when one is reaching their limit.
Remember you’re a team. Exchange little looks. Remember you’re in this together.
Say no. No is a complete sentence. You don’t have to explain everything.
Lean into pleasure when stressed. Whether it’s a long hug in the kitchen or a quickie in the shower, all of those things will help.
As Amy beautifully puts it: “Don’t forget to lean into pleasure when you are so stressed out, when the mother-in-law starts criticizing things, when all these things are happening, there’s a natural tendency, I think, to disconnect from your partner and that’s the most important time to lean in.”
Give Yourself and Each Other Grace
Dr. Laurie Mintz, bestselling author of Becoming Cliterate, therapist, and emeritus professor, offers the perspective we all need to hear:
“My best advice to stay intimate over stressful holiday seasons is give yourself and each other grace and communicate about it. You know, just like I tell brand new parents, don’t expect your sex life to be the same as it was before you brought the infant home. I tell everybody, don’t expect your sex life to be the same with holiday chaos, with relatives you might not like, or with all the cooking and the chores in your home or in your environment.”
Dr. Mintz emphasizes the importance of communication:
“But talk about it, communicate about it, share with each other things like, I can’t keep our weekly sex date this week because I’m too stressed about the holidays. So communicate, give each other support.”
Her final message is one of hope.
“Give each other grace, and know that these holidays will pass. And if you communicate and give each other grace during this stressful period, you’ll be waiting for each other with open arms on the other end.”
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Make this holiday season your most connected yet
So what do these five experts want you to remember?
1. Intimacy doesn’t have to be elaborate. A long embrace, a quickie in the shower, holding hands while doing dishes—all of these count.
2. Schedule it if you need to. Spontaneity is lovely, but during the holidays, intentionality wins.
3. Repair early and often. Small acts of repair prevent big blowups.
4. Lean into pleasure as stress relief. Oxytocin from orgasms and intimate touch naturally combats cortisol.
5. Give grace. This season is temporary. Communicate, support each other, and remember you’re on the same team.
The holidays don’t have to kill your intimacy. With a little intention and these expert strategies, you can turn this season into one where you and your partner grow closer, not further apart.
Grab my FREE Handbook: 5 Pleasure Secrets of Satisfied Couples for even more ways to stay connected.
Click here to grab your free handbook now →
Because the best gift you can give each other this holiday season? Your presence, your touch, and your commitment to staying connected.
♦︎♦︎♦︎
Meet Our Featured Experts
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Susan Bratton, Intimacy Expert to Millions, CEO of Personal Life Media
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Kevin Anthony, Certified Sexologist & Host of The Love Lab Podcast
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Amy Rowan, The Suburban Sexologist, Founder of Suburban Intimacy
